Hope & Courage

I am overwhelmed by the response to the Hope and Courage segment that aired on abc27 Thursday night.  I loved everything about the show  ...except for the fact that it's my story.  If you didn't get a chance to see it, you should be able to view it through this link:  Hope and Courage - abc27 interview

Rich and I were invited to the television station to watch the show being aired from there. They provided dinner for all of us that were involved in the show and we even got a tour of the station.  (we were like kids in a candy store when they turned us loose in the news room)  Part of the show was live, but thankfully our part was taped (and edited) ahead of time.   It took SIX hours with the producers to get the 8 minutes of footage that aired!

My doctor was also there at the station and I was honored to sit between her and Rich.  I was giddy with excitement when my Nurse Navigator walked in the room and I got to give her a HUGE hug.  I haven't seen her for at least two years!  We talk often, but I don't get to see her in person much. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for such a compassionate and dedicated medical team at Penn State Hershey Cancer Institute. 

I said that I loved everything about the show   ...except for the fact that it's my story.  I guess I can't say that statement is entirely true.  Of course, I wish I wasn't "that girl with cancer" and I most certainly have better things to do with my time than sitting through a three-hour chemo treatment,  but there are so many things about this journey that I wouldn't trade for the world!

To those of you who have supported us, we have been humbled, blessed, and overcome by gratitude and cannot thank you enough.

 

A litte note with a big challenge ....

Yesterday, I came across a note that I had written on September 7, 2012.  It was a short little note that I had jotted down while listening to one of the speakers at a Women of Faith conference in Philadelphia.  (Sorry, I neglected to write down which speaker.)  I believe it may have either been Sheila Walsh or Patsy Clairmont speaking about Moses and the burning bush. 


Tree On Fire, sunset at Saughtreeegate Farm.
Photo taken by Neil Maughan.

The story in Exodus tells us that Moses is in the wilderness taking care of sheep when he sees a bush engulfed in flames.  At first glance, this is probably not an unusual sight, but Moses soon realizes that this particular bush is not burning up.  Can't you just picture the puzzled look on his face?

As Moses gets closer, the voice of God calls out to him, "Moses, Moses!" 

"Here I am," Moses answers. 

"Don't come any closer," God says.  He explains to Moses that He knows how miserable His chosen people are in Egypt where they are being held by Pharaoh as slaves.  God has heard their cries for help and tells Moses that he is go back to Egypt to rescue them.

Moses's response to God is "Why me?"  Isn't that often our first response when faced with difficulty?  I know I have cried out those very words countless times.

God's response to Moses was clear and simple. He simply says "I will be with you."

We are all going to have to walk through a fire at some point in our lives, aren't we?  Just as Moses did, we need to get past "Why me?" and choose cling to the promise that God will be with us every step of the way.  In her book "A Woman's Heart," Beth Moore writes “only you can decide how your fires will affect you. Will you be sanctified or scarred?" 


The note that I wrote a year ago is this: 

"If you see someone who is going through the fire...

if they have flames all around them and are not consumed....  

Listen!  Watch!

...you are seeing the power of God."

 

Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

 

 



Treatment, Bus Trips, and "The Survivor's Creed"

I was hesitant to post this update too soon for fear of jinxing myself, but I think I'm in the clear now.  It has been about a week and a half since my last treatment and I feel FANTASTIC!  I have experienced very few side-effects.   A bit of fatigue and a big 'ole bruise at the infusion site, but other than that it's been relatively smooth sailing.  I am praying that the bruise heals before my next treatment and that no permanent damage was done to my vein. 

 

This treatment is a combination of two drugs:  Gemcitabine and Carboplatin.  This combination is affectionately called "GemCarbo." 

• Gemcitabine is a nucleoside metabolic inhibitor" which means that it works by stopping the process that cells use to divide and repair themselves, leading to cell death. 

• Carboplatin is the only platinum-based chemotherapy approved to treat breast cancer.  It weakens or destroys breast cancer cells by damaging the genetic material in the cells and making it hard for cells to repair any genetic damage.

I don't fully understand how they work, but am very optimistic that they will work! I will have three weeks between treatments to allow my blood cell counts to recover.  We expect to do three cycles and then scan to determine how well it's working.  Depending upon the results of the scan, I may be able to discontinue the drug or I may have to stay on a "maintenance" dose for a period of time.  It will totally depend on how effective the treatment is with knocking out those pesky cancer cells.

Four days after this treatment, I boarded a bus full of very excited ladies and headed to Philadelphia for a Women of Faith conference.  This year's theme was "Believe That God Can Do Anything."  A very appropriate theme if you ask me!?!


We were also excited to find out that Women of Faith had recently partnered with the National Breast Cancer Research Foundation.  In support of that, they held a "pink out" at the stadium where everyone wears their pink attire and accessories to show their support.  During the opening remarks, they asked for everyone who has been effected by breast cancer to stand so they could pray for us.  Let me just tell you - I would have never expected so many people to stand.  What a blessing to see all of us being covered by prayer upon prayer upon prayer. 

Heather, Carla, Karen, and Missy all "Pinked-Out"

To add to our pink t-shirts, we were all able accessorize with matching pink leather bracelets that are embossed with these encouraging words from scripture...

 "In this world you may have trouble,

but fear not I have overcome the world."

~John 16:33

 



 All of the speakers at the conference were fantastic, but Max Lucado shared some ideas that I'd like to share.   He is talking about what to do when you are in a pit.  ..a pit of despair, of hopelessness, of poor health, of depression,   ....whatever pit you are in, here are some things to help you climb out:  

1. "Lay claim to the nearness of God."  In times of difficulty you have to allow God's Word to trump your emotions.  Hebrews 13:5 says "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  We may lose sense of His presence, but He is always there.  He is near no matter what our mood or circumstances are.   He is near even if we don't "feel" like He is.
2. "Cling to His character" Think about everything you know to be true about God and make a list!  He is faithful, eternal, sovereign, majestic, unchanging, merciful, patient, He still knows my name....  Keep this list on-hand so that you can refer to it when you need to be reminded of God's character.
3. "Pray your pain out."  This is a time for honest prayers.  Scream it out if you have to, but let it out!   The entire book of Lamentations is Jeremiah's raw and honest prayers to God.  Part of healing is going deep and getting real with God.  Let him into the darkest, most fearful and angry corners of you heart.  I promise you that He will meet you there! 
4.  "Lean on Gods people." This is not the time to run away to become a hermit.  Max Lucado says to "be a barnacle on the boat of Gods church."  As much as we may want to run away, in reality we need community, we need His people, and we need His presence.

"The Survivor's Creed."

by Max Lucado 

---------------

You will get through this.

It won't be painless.

It won't be quick.

But God will use this mess for good.

Don't be foolish or naïve.

But don't despair either.

With God's help, you'll get though this!

 

  

 

 

Soon to come..... Lazarus!  There is so much packed into that little story.  I'm unpacking it bit by bit and can't wait to share it with all of you!  Until then, cling to His character and always allow His Word to trump your emotions!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

Rare side-effects ...you have GOT to be kidding me?

My first (and only) chemotherapy treatment of Navelbine was Tuesday, three weeks ago. I have to admit that I was overly confident that there would be minimal side-effects and, boy oh boy, was I ever wrong!

I progressed through the typical side-effects for the first five days - very slight nausea, a bit of fatigue, food tasted funny for a few days.  The typical description for "food tasting funny" is that you experience a metallic taste your mouth when eating.  I described it to my doctor that it felt like I was eating a lemon and my entire mouth puckered - tongue, mouth, throat, and every single salivary gland.  As it turns out, the medicine actually messes up your ability to sense proportions between sweet and sour tastes.  Annoying, but tolerable.    

By Friday, I was feeling great and enjoyed a fantastic weekend.  We met up with friends at the Lancaster Airport Community Days and all of our kids were in their glory with the planes.  Afterwards, we all went out for dinner and then retreated back to our house for a campfire, s'mores, several glasses of wine, and some very entertaining conversation.  Sunday was my annual family reunion at a local park and the weather was absolutely perfect!  I was, and will continue to be, determined to not let my health slow us down anymore than absolutely necessary.  

Lancaster Airport Community Days

Lancaster Airport Community Days

Lancaster Airport Community Days

Family Reunion

Partway through the  family reunion, I started to experience heartburn.  (Well, at least that's what I thought it was.)  By Monday morning, the "heartburn" had progressed to my stomach.  It continued to get worse and by Tuesday morning I decided that it was time to call the doctor.  I was very worried because I was scheduled to have my second treatment that afternoon and nothing seemed to be helping with the pain.  ...and by pain,  I mean a doubled-over in bed, feeling like I was having labor contractions every 90 seconds kind of pain.  It was awful!  I was miserable, grumpy, scared, resentful, angry, and in pain.

 

My doctor immediately cancelled my second treatment and called in a prescription for pain meds.  I had all intentions of posting an update at that point, but I essentially slept for the next three days.  I think this was partially from the pain meds, but also from being tired from treatment, exhaustion from dealing with the pain for several days, and feeling devastated that I wouldn't be able to continue with this treatment.

I understand now that my pain was caused by the effect Navelbine has on nerves. It is referred to as "peripheral neuropathy" and often affects the hands and feet. This is because the longer a nerve is, the more vulnerable it is to injury and the nerves going to the hands and feet are some of the longest in the body.  In my case, it was the nerves surrounding my stomach were affected.   Once a nerve is damaged, it likely to start behaving abnormally. It may become quiet and send no information, which causes numbness or, as in my case, it may send excessive and inappropriate pain messages.  This condition happens in less than 2% of patients and, for me, would most-likely occur after each treatment of Navelbine.  Of all the things for me to excel at, of course it had to be rare side-effects, right?  

 

By Friday, I was able to stop taking the pain meds and was back to normal by Saturday.   Well, physically back to normal, but I was a mess emotionally because I had no idea what my next option was for treatment.  All I knew is that I had to be pain-free for at least a week before I could start any new treatment.   

 

After another week of waiting, we decided that my next treatment will be a combination of two drugs called Gemcitabine and Carboplatin.  This is commonly referred to as "GemCarbo.  In my doctor's words, "I hope this will work well with limited side effects."  I had my first treatment today and am nervously awaiting side-effects.  

 

Encouraging quote sent to me by a good friend the day of my first chemo treatment.  Words to live by!!

 

Eighteen hours post-chemo

I received my first chemo treatment eighteen hours ago and so far so good. I've had a mild headache, but it's quite possible that it's from having my hair in a ponytail for too long.  (only me, right?)

The medication that I am being treated with is called "Navelbine." Many patients refer to it with a chuckle as "Navy Beans." Nausea is a common side-effect, but I was given medicine though my IV to prevent it and it worked like a charm!

I do have some vein discoloration in my arm where the Navelbine was injected. It doesn't hurt, but there is a definite reddish tint to my vein rather than it's normal bluish-purple color.  Navelbine is a vesicant which means it is a chemical that causes extensive tissue damage and blistering if it escapes from the vein.  I think I just have normal discoloration, but it is something I'll have to keep an eye on. I'm very hopeful that it doesn't worsen. 

Navelbine is somewhat unique among chemotherapy drugs. Many chemotherapy drugs are completely synthetic, but Navelbine is only partially synthetic and is extracted from the periwinkle flower. I think I'll visualize this pretty little purple flower during treatment next week. 

Navelbine prevents cells from dividing by fusing with the microtubules inside a cell's cytoplasm. Remember mitosis and meiosis from biology class?  Because Navelbine prevents normal cell division, it can both slow the spread of cancers and kill existing cancer cells.  I'll take both options, please!?!  

 

 

Determined ...and a little bit stubborn!

Are any of you are familiar with the Kübler-Ross model for the "five stages of grief?"  The theory is that when a person faces the reality of an extreme or terrible fate, she will experience a series of five emotional stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I can honestly say that I have experienced all of these stages over the past two weeks.  ...and to be completely honest, I have probably spent more time in the "anger" stage than I should have.  (sorry honey)

 

After coming to the end of my rope time and time again, I propose that we must move past Kübler-Ross's five stages and enter a sixth phase  .....a phase of DETERMINATION!  

 

• Determination to be realistic rather than live in denial. By realistic, I don't mean relying upon statistics.  (By the way, I told my doctor four years ago that I didn't want to hear statistics and she hasn't given me a single one yet.)   I'm talking about being "real."   ... showing myself for what I truly am - a hot mess of brokenness.   Thankfully, as a follower of Christ, I know that He doesn't see me that way.   My reality is that in Christ, I am a new creation - perfect and complete!   (II Corinthians 5:17) 

• Determination to not let anger overcome me. (Boy, I need a lot of help with this one.) Anger that crashes over me like a storm surge topping out at thirty feet above sea level. Anger that causes me to come unglued and completely blow things out of proportion. Anger that blinds me to the truth.  Every time I hear the saying "it's not what happens to you that matters, it's how you react to it," I want to jump up and scream "BUT IT DOES MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO ME!"  I want to yell, and pound my fists, and smash things, and maybe even kick my feet just a little bit. Yes, anger is a very slippery slope for me. Perhaps we can work on this one together?

• Determination to not get caught up in bargaining with God. You know how the prayer goes ... "Lord, if you just do this one thing for me, I promise to be a better person."  Really? Do I really expect God to haggle with little 'ole me when he has already paid the ultimate price? 

• Determination to be wary of depression and the damage it can cause to my health.   The web address of this blog says it all - TODAY I CHOOSE TO LAUGH!  

• Determined to not be satisfied with acceptance and passive resignation. It's all to easy to be like Eeyore from Winnie-the-Poo and mutter "Oh bother. End of the Road. Nothing to do, and no hope of things getting better."  It can't just end with acceptance, there has to be more to it than that!!

I AM DETERMINED!  (...and just a little bit stubborn)

Gratitude changes everything...

Today didn't turn out quite as we expected. You'd think that I'd be used to that by now, but I'm not - not even a little bit.   The good news is that the radiation treatments seem to have worked and my hip is showing improvement!  (hmmmmmm..... does that warrant a new celebratory tattoo?)  The bad news is that there are some areas on my upper spine that clearly show progression.  The decision was pretty obvious - time to change meds ....again.  

For now, I seem to have reached the end of treating this disease hormonally and am venturing into the realm of more traditional chemotherapy.  We have decided on a drug called "Navelbine" as my next treatment.  This is a very mild chemotherapy treatment that will hopefully knock these nasty cells out enough so I can go off all medications for a while.  We expect very minimal side-effects. Fatigue and a low white blood cell count are the two most common side-effects, both of which I have experienced before.  

The drug will be administered through an IV line.  The infusion takes about two hours and I will have one treatment a week for three or four weeks followed by a week or two off to recuperate.   I will have to have blood tests before each treatment to make sure that my white blood cell count doesn't drop too low.  Our goal is to get through two complete cycles (6-8 treatments) and then we will scan to see if it is working.  If it works, I'll go through one or two more cycles and then be off ALL medications for as long as there is no evidence of progression.  I have been on medication for four years, so the possibility of being off of them makes me almost giddy with excitement.

Today was full of bad news, good news, bad news, good news.... I've lost track of the score, so it really boils down to this thought:  Today's scan was MUCH better than it was 18 months ago and that scan was MUCH better than it was four years ago and even though today seems like a step backwards, I'm still ahead of where I started!

"Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed" -MaryOliver

I finished my last radiation treatment on Friday, and met some of the most amazing people during my two weeks of treatment.

The team of radiation technicians that worked with me were incredible.  Brit, Michael, Jessica, and Brandy - they made me smile every day and are such a blessing to so many people.  When dealing with a disease as serious as cancer, it is incredibly uplifting to be surrounded by such positive attitudes.  I had been showing Jessica my "feet pictures" throughout the week and on my last day, I asked for a picture of all of our feet together.   Jessica knew why I was asking, but you should have seen the confused look on Michael's face.  He seemed to relax after I said he didn't have to take off his shoes!

I met Kayah who is the cutest little girl you've ever seen.  She is five years old and was there everyday with her entire family - Mom, Dad, baby sister, Grandmother, and Grandfather.  She may have been there for treatment, but in her eyes, she was there for the puzzles! There were two tables in the waiting room with puzzles and we all took turns working on them while we were waiting for our treatment.  Kayah and I worked on one together and she giggled everytime she found a piece that fit.  If her treatment time came too quickly, she always came back afterwards for more puzzle time.  I completed my treatment before our puzzle was finished, but I am sure that she won't quit until it's done.

 

There was another little girl who had her treatment immediately following mine.  She was being treated for some form of brain cancer and had to be sedated during her treatment so that she would be totally still during the short, ten minute, treatment.  We both got to the Med Center at the same time and I would see her shuffling up the sidewalk following her parents into the main entrance of the Cancer Institute.  She was always wearing pink flip-flops, had a pink flowered blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and wore a pink and yellow baseball hat. She finished her treatment as I was waiting to see the doctor and I heard the technicians gently waking her up.  As soon as she opened her eyes, everyone starting cheering and clapping for her.  Her parents were grinning from ear to ear and applause echoed through the hallways.  Friday was her last treatment also and she would not have to come back for any more treatments for the next six months. 

 

I met an elderly farmer's wife who spent time talking with her husband about which fields needed to be plowed that week.  I overheard her exclaiming "you spent how much for that goat?"  I just loved listening to them.  His old calloused hand rested across her shoulder and she smiled every time she looked at him.  There was no question that they are still very much in love.

 

There were many others that I met and despite our different ages, backgrounds, and conditions, we had one thing in common..... we chose to laugh!!

 

Inspirational Board at Penn State Hershey Cancer Institute Radiation Oncology Department 

Some things I learned this week....

I have completed five of my ten radiation treatments.... Halfway!!! Woo Hoo!!  I have enjoyed having the weekend off from treatments, but am ready to get my last five treatments over with.  As I gear up for next week, I've been thinking about some things that I have learned this week.

 

 

1.  My doctor is really, really, REALLY smart!

• Proverbs 31:17, 20, 26 (NIV) "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.  She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

 

2.  Trailblazing isn't such a bad thing! (just ask my husband about my antics in his Jeep)

• Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you."

3.  It's OK to reach for the sky, as long as I keep my roots firmly grounded!

• Matthew 7:24-29 (NIV) "Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

4.  I am still very angry about my diagnosis! (yes, I am still working on this one)

• Psalm 37:8 (MSG) "Bridle your anger, trash your wrath, cool your pipes - it only makes things worse."  (I absolutely love this translation!)

5.  There have been specific instances when I was a positive and Godly role model to other young women without even realizing it at the time! (Thank you to my dear friends who have talked to me about this - what an encouragement you all have been.)

• Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV) "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."

6.  Radiation makes me tired - and very hungry! (I am so thankful for all the picnics we had this weekend - ribs, hot dogs, hamburgers, salads, watermelon, strawberries ....well now I've made myself hungry again!)

• Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)  "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

7.  Give a girl the right shoes....  need I say any more?

Week #1

Radiation beams, video games, and sweater defuzzers....

Four days into radiation and, all things considered, the treatment itself hasn't been too bad.  I am incredibly tired, but that's to be expected both from the treatment itself and the daily drive to and from the Med Center.  I thought was feeling well enough to go to yoga earlier in the week, but have been having pretty significant hip pain since then.  There doesn't seem to be any serious damage, the doctor just thinks I over-did it a bit.  (Who, me?) He said that "gentle range of motion" exercises were OK.  I said "I thought that's what I was doing?"  Ok, lesson learned.
 

My husband was explaining to our boys that I had to go for "radiation therapy" every day.  My youngest got a confused look on his face and asked "are they going to nuke her?"  Ahhhhh....the joy of having boys.   He explained that it was similar to their video games, but a little different.
 

Unlike chemotherapy, which exposes the whole body to cancer-fighting drugs, radiation therapy is aimed at only the part of the body being treated.  In my case, that's my hip.  Radiation therapy "beams" a high dose of radiation to the cancer cells.  (Much like my son was envisioning in his video games.) The radiation damages the genetic material within the cancer cells,  limits their ability to reproduce, and causes them to die. Normal cells are also affected by radiation, but they are typically able to repair themselves and recover.  Spreading the radiation treatment out over several smaller treatments allows the normal cells to recover.  In my case, I will have ten treatments.

 

I lay down on a treatment table and the therapists line the laser beams from the machine with the tattoos they placed on my hips last week.  The machine zaps me once from above, rotates around me, and zaps me once from behind.   I'm only in the treatment room for about ten minutes.  The room itself looks like something out of a sci-fi movie and the machine looks intimidating.  I took this picture after today's treatment....

 

Like I said, the machine looks intimidating, well, at least it did until I realized that it looks like one of those battery-operated sweater defuzzers.  You can't tell me that you don't see the resemblance?

Now, when I start to giggle during treatment tomorrow, I'll have to show this picture to my therapist.  

 

Stories in Ink....

Those of you who know me well would agree that I easily could have been voted "least likely to get a tattoo" several years ago.  My my my, how things have changed! 

It all started after my very first "all-clear" scan report back in 2011.   I was thinking about a post I made earlier related to John Piper's article "Don't Waste Your Cancer."  I was thinking about the lessons I had learned on my journey.  I was thinking about things that were too easily forgotten when the road got tough.  I was thinking that I never wanted to forget to be thankful. You've heard of the book "One Thousand Gifts," by Ann Voskamp?  Well, my list of blessings went waaaaay beyond one thousand.  I decided that my first tattoo would be the one word that I wanted to remember in all circumstances, in the good and the bad, when I was feeling confident and when I was feeling like my world was unraveling.  My first tattoo is kanji for "Gratitude."  

Then came my next "all-clear" milestone in 2012.  This time, I wanted a permanent reminder to stay positive and not lose hope.  Proberbs 31:25 says "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she LAUGHS without fear of the future."  It doesn't say "She accepts her fate" or "She is content with her circumstances."  It says "She LAUGHS!"  ...and not only does she laugh, but she does it without fear of the future. We're not talking about a nervous chuckle, or a schoolgirl giggle, we're talking about a laugh that swells up from deep in your soul and overflows for the world to hear.  That, my friends, is pure joy.  

Now, as I face another bump in the road, what is it that I want to remember?  What will help remind me to remain strong, grounded and joyful?  What will remind me to always set my sights on the Heavens above?   I think of thes words from The Wisdom Of The Sands  “The tree is more than first a seed, then a stem, then a living trunk, and then dead timber. The tree is a slow, enduring force straining to win the sky.” Thoughts of a very special tree at my parents house kept coming to mind.  I spent countless hours as a child in the shadow of that tree and now I watch as my boys play under that same tree. The sounds of laughter and squeals of delight can be heard across the yard when all the cousins are together, chasing each other around the trunk and the branches always make a good hiding spot for Easter eggs.  The dogs relax in the shade while my family sits and catches up on eachother's lives, remembering childhood stories while creating new memories every time we are together.   This tree reaches for the heavens even when storms threaten to strip it's leaves and snap it's branches.  Through it all, the laughter and the storms, this tree stands tall. My third tattoo is a rendition of that tree - branches reaching for the sky, roots firmly grounded.

------------------------

He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” ~Jeremiah 17:8. 

Lasers, Tattoos and Dirty Girls...

The votes are in, the experts have spoken, and we have definitive proof that there is an area in my left hip that has become resistant to my current meds.  My latest scans show that there is a new lesion growing between my femoral head and my hip socket.

My doctor and I discussed treatment options and she suggested treating this small area with radiation while continuing to treat everything else hormonally. Our goal is to delay chemo for as long as possible and it sounds like radiation will help achieve that.  One of the things they are learning about breast cancer is that resistance that develops in one area can spread to another area (instead of each area developing their own separate resistance mechanism).  Because we truly are "trailblazing," my doctor wanted to discuss my case with the Oncology team before proceeding

As He has so often done during this journey, God placed the right people in the right place at the right time.  The same day that my doctor was presenting my case, Dr. Larry Norton, an international breast expert from Memorial Sloan Kettering (and truly one of the best minds in the field) came to Penn State Hershey to present some of the latest unpublished data. My doctor seized the opportunity to get his thoughts on my situation.  He completely agreed with my doctor's plan to keep me on my current treatment and radiate the area that may be becoming resistant.  In fact, Dr.  Norton has had excellent results with this approach with his own patients.

It seemed like a no-brainer to me, so I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Wagner, the radiation oncologist, to start the process.  Some of you may remember my post from March 2010 describing my first experience with radiation, Sylvester Stallone, and my visualization techniques.  As soon as I met Dr. Wagner, I immediately felt at ease and had the urge to make those tiny little laser noises again.  I refrained from the noises for now - after all, what kind of first impression would that leave him with?  

I returned to Hershey the next day for some special measurements and to have the infamous blue dot tattoos placed on my hip area.   The tattoos are necessary to ensure the lasers are aligned correctly for every treatment.  Not exactly what I had in mind for my next tattoo, but I guess it will have to do for now.

I will have a total of 10 treatments - once a day two weeks.  This should be a piece of cake compared to the 30 treatments I had three years ago.  (geez, has it really been that long?)  Dr. Wagner wants to start right away and I say "bring it on!"   I will have my first treatment bright and early Monday morning and my last one will be Friday, June 21.  

Here's how the rest of my conversation went with Dr.  Wagner that day.....

Me:    "I am registered for a 5k mud run on June 22."

Doc:  "Are you asking me or telling me."

Me:   "ummmmm.... asking?"

Doc:  "if you're asking, my answer is no"

Me:   "Would it make any difference if I said the proceeds go towards breast cancer research?"

Doc:  "While that's a noble cause, my answer is still no."




Dr.  Wagner explained that I could still walk the course, but shouldn't try to complete the obstacles. The lesion in my hip socket has weakened the joint enough that I have an increased risk of a hip fracture.  Also keep in mind that estrogen in women protects the bones.  I have been undergoing therapy that eliminates estrogen for the past four years so bone density is already a concern.

...and that means no muddy cargo net climbs for this Dirty Girl!

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Dirty Girl is a 5k adventure run for women that was founded in 2010.  The obstacle course consists of wall climbs, stomach crawls, cargo net climbs, tire tests, and concludes with a mud filled pit.  Dirty Girl believes in finding a cure, educating women, and helping those who are currently dealing with Breast Cancer. After all, the Dirty Girl way is to jump in, get dirty, and fight!

Dirty Girl supports breast cancer charity organizations in each events market. By participating in a Dirty Girl Mud Run you’ve already have made a difference by financially and physically making a stand against Breast Cancer.  Go to their website Go Dirty Girl for more information. 

A New Site: Time for A New Look

After working with my blog site for the past four years, I decided it was time for a fresh start with a new look.  I also needed a site that was better suited for mobile devices.  For the life of me, I couldn't figure out how to make design changes to my old site so I'm starting over with a new one.    Yes, I am seriously challenged when it comes to technology.

I am so excited with my new URL:  http://todayichoosetolaugh.blogspot.com/

If you would like to catch up on my story from the beginning, there should be a link to my old blog on right side of the page.