Determined ...and a little bit stubborn!

Are any of you are familiar with the Kübler-Ross model for the "five stages of grief?"  The theory is that when a person faces the reality of an extreme or terrible fate, she will experience a series of five emotional stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I can honestly say that I have experienced all of these stages over the past two weeks.  ...and to be completely honest, I have probably spent more time in the "anger" stage than I should have.  (sorry honey)

 

After coming to the end of my rope time and time again, I propose that we must move past Kübler-Ross's five stages and enter a sixth phase  .....a phase of DETERMINATION!  

 

• Determination to be realistic rather than live in denial. By realistic, I don't mean relying upon statistics.  (By the way, I told my doctor four years ago that I didn't want to hear statistics and she hasn't given me a single one yet.)   I'm talking about being "real."   ... showing myself for what I truly am - a hot mess of brokenness.   Thankfully, as a follower of Christ, I know that He doesn't see me that way.   My reality is that in Christ, I am a new creation - perfect and complete!   (II Corinthians 5:17) 

• Determination to not let anger overcome me. (Boy, I need a lot of help with this one.) Anger that crashes over me like a storm surge topping out at thirty feet above sea level. Anger that causes me to come unglued and completely blow things out of proportion. Anger that blinds me to the truth.  Every time I hear the saying "it's not what happens to you that matters, it's how you react to it," I want to jump up and scream "BUT IT DOES MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO ME!"  I want to yell, and pound my fists, and smash things, and maybe even kick my feet just a little bit. Yes, anger is a very slippery slope for me. Perhaps we can work on this one together?

• Determination to not get caught up in bargaining with God. You know how the prayer goes ... "Lord, if you just do this one thing for me, I promise to be a better person."  Really? Do I really expect God to haggle with little 'ole me when he has already paid the ultimate price? 

• Determination to be wary of depression and the damage it can cause to my health.   The web address of this blog says it all - TODAY I CHOOSE TO LAUGH!  

• Determined to not be satisfied with acceptance and passive resignation. It's all to easy to be like Eeyore from Winnie-the-Poo and mutter "Oh bother. End of the Road. Nothing to do, and no hope of things getting better."  It can't just end with acceptance, there has to be more to it than that!!

I AM DETERMINED!  (...and just a little bit stubborn)